Saturday, September 8, 2012

Thoughts on the "waiting" mentality

Over the last week, multiple friends have sent me this link, and asked my opinion:

I have read it several times, but have not responded, as I wanted some time to put my thoughts in order.

My first impression: She nailed it!!! The author of this blog said, so much more beautifully than I ever could, exactly what I have been trying to say.

Since I embarked on this journey of coming to know my God, and to understand who I am IN HIM, I have learned so many truths. The blogger's remark, "I just didn’t want to wait anymore – didn’t want to live like I was waiting on anyone to get here." is an accurate reflection of my heart over the last few years. It was this desperation to stop waiting and start living that caused me to embark on this journey in the first place. As I have focused on God, and all that He is to me, the "waiting mentality" just slipped away. I have found myself LIVING, and reveling in Him. I learned that it doesn't matter what a "couple's world" thinks of me as a single. I learned that it didn't matter what my family thought of me. I learned something that I knew in my head, but didn't truly believe in my heart... I learned that indeed, "I already have Him … and He is everything!!!"

During this journey, for the first time, I came to understand that singleness is NOT a punishment of God. It is not given to me because I fall short, because I don't love HIM as I should, or I haven't learned to delight myself in Him. My singleness at this time is His loving gift to me. God is teaching me that HE loves me.

OK ladies, here's where the rubber meets the road. I am pretty sure that I'm not the only one who had thoughts like this... "Well, OF COURSE God loves me. He is love. That's who God is. Good grief! God loved Hitler, right? I mean... wouldn't we say that? He hated Hitler's actions, but is it not safe to say He loved Hitler? So.... God loves me. Big deal." I had this deep down feeling that my singleness meant that I was unlovely and unlovable. I truly believed that noone could love me, not my family, not my friends, and that even God only loved me because that is who He is.

I have finally come to believe in my heart that God loves ME. He has chosen to love me. I cannot tell you what a wonderful thing it was to come to truly understand and believe this. I am loved with an everlasting love. I REVEL in my newly understood standing in Him. HE LOVES ME!!! Do you believe that He loves you? Do you TRULY believe? When you do, you will come to see that His love is enough.


  1. I too have wrestled with the question. Why am I still single? There have been opportunities, but they went on by. Am I too picky? Have I somehow fallen short? Then I remember Paul writing about this very subject: I would that you be as I. Then he goes on to say it is better to marry than to burn. Never was much on the burning part. I have always been content to be as I was.

    Paul also told us to be content in whatever state we are in. Some folks cannot stand not to be conformed to a marriage pattern, even after widowhood, even after divorce. Some are perfectly content in the single state, and there are more out there than you could even imagine. It is sad that many church families are so caught up in a "family values" mode, they forget their members who are single, and remain single.

    We are all in all in Christ, we in Him, and He in us.

    1. It is my vision... my passion... to see my church be a beacon of hope to the many hurting singles in Spartanburg county. I want us to be a safe haven, where lonely singles can find fellowship and accountability. A place where we don't "fall through the cracks" so to speak. As single's we don't have a husband or wife to say to us "I know that you are "down" and struggling, but you NEED to go to church. You NEED the fellowship. These difficult times are when we need each other (as the body of Christ) the most."

      My hope is that we can raise up a group that will be that to each other. Friends, encouragers, holding one another accountable, edifying one another, and truly being "FAMILY" the body of Christ, working as it should.